Living the Lie ... er, Dream

You know that awkward thing some bloggers do, when they haven't posted for a while?  They are very apologetic (not this kind) and make up some excuse for their absence, usually related to a holiday, or general busyness and some other kind of distraction.  I'm not going to do that.


Up until recently I was under the impression I had to do what I love for a living.  That if I didn't do that one thing that I'm most passionate about (read: knitting), and make lots of money doing it, I'd ultimately be unsatisfied, and I could never call myself a success.  I'd be living a lie.


And since I was not knitting for a living, there were times (usually preceding this lady's arrival) when I felt rather unsatisfied, like a failure, a liar for being in insurance instead of the fibre-arts.  Or a sell-out.  Or a coward.  


Then I got a wake-up call - or perhaps a satisfying confirmation of what I already knew - from one Ms. Penelope Trunk.  It's appropriate that one of her start-up ventures was called Brazen Careerist.  Ms. Trunk is nothing if not brashly honest, unassumingly witty, and painfully poignant.  Her writing is uncomfortable, challenging, like nothing you'll ever read.  And I think I love her for it.


Where or when did I originally get fed that line, that I need to do what I love for a living?  Was it one specific place?  Did it spontaneously generate in my mind, like flies on a cheesecloth?  Or does it permeate from every corner of popular media?  We've all read that story.  Jane or John Doe finds her/himself in dire straits (after all, you can get neither money for nothing nor chicks for free), begins by doing something they love, and they persevere, and toil, and by the sweat of their brow, they've made millions and are living it up in Zihuatanejo.  Oh, wait; no one loves digging tunnels in prison walls, not even Edmond Dantes (insert accent grave).  But he was rich, too.  Maybe they were onto something.


I can tell you one thing.  From the time I started college, I was bombarded with this word: Vocation.  Ok, two words: Vocation and Calling.  New vocab for me, but apparently not for Christian Academia.  From Day One in college - actually, in the case of the College Honors Program, prior to day one, during stimulating summer reading - I was told, directly and indirectly, that I have a sole purpose.  I have gifts and talents which brand me for one profession, and the purpose of college is to prepare myself for the rest of my life.  But no pressure or anything (to overuse a phrase).


So naturally, I changed my major 4 times from French to Accounting to International Business to Business Administration before graduating.  In four years, I might add.


But you know what I'm saying.  It's out there.  Taunting us.  "Other people are doing what they love and are madly successful, so why aren't you?"


But, like Ms. Trunk, I love many things.  Cheese, and pie, and math, to name a few.  I also love learning new things and stretching myself and meeting new people and finding out what I'm capable of, finding I can do things that I never thought I could (public speaking, for one).  What else do I love about my job?  Data analysis, and problem-solving, and learning how to become a leader.  Mentoring, being mentored, and gaining business acumen.  Building relationships I'll have for a long time.  Having a LinkedIn profile.  These are things I might be able to do as a professional knitter, perhaps.  But not like I can in the Insurance industry.


But, all that being said, I'm still trying a new knitting venture.  More on that next time.

Mrs. Pi