Does Not Meet Expectations

I had an extra two weeks.  Fate gave me TWO EXTRA WEEKS, and what did I do?  


I failed.  Still, I failed.

Let me explain.  No, there is too much, let me sum up.


You remember Cream Zippy Cardigan?  Well, I have had one step left on Cream Zippy Cardigan for weeks now: the Zipper.  If you have a liberal sense of humor, it truly has been a comedy of errors.


It goes:


1.  I take the Cream Zippy Cardigan out of the dryer, ready to install the zipper, and realize that the zipper I bought was too long.  
2.  (different day) I go to Jo-ann's and exchange the 18'' zipper for a 14'' zipper.
3.  (different day) I realize the 14'' zipper is too short.
4.  (yet another different day, weeks later) I stop by Jo-ann's for 16'' zipper, since I didn't have 14'' zipper with me to exchange.
5.  I get home from Jo-ann's, the Saturday before Easter, and start hand-sewing.  The Matrix is on, and I am zipping along.  Pun intended.  I am beyond impressed with myself, since it's my first attempt at hand-sewing since ... well ... ever.  And it looks pretty darn good.
6.  I finish one side of the zipper and pat my back because I am totally going to finish this sweater by tomorrow, when I will smugly deliver the Cream Zippy Cardigan to my sister, on time.
7.  I pin the other side so it matches up, then I unzip the zipper so it's easier to sew.
8.  I am confused, because the zipper will not unzip all the way.  
9.  I am convinced that something must be wrong with this zipper.
10.  I read the zipper directions again to make sure I didn't miss a step.
11.  I search online for Coats and Clark zippers to see if there is a tutorial online.
12.  All at once I obtain the crushing realization that there are a few different types of zippers: General Purpose and Separating being two of them.  I am holding a Cream Zippy Cardigan with half of a General Purpose zipper sewn into it.


Let me put it another way.  I'm looking at this:

(These photos were taken the day after my unfortunate incident.  I was too heartbroken to take a picture of my epic zipper FAIL before I cut the offending item out of Cream Zippy Cardigan.)


I should have been looking at this (on the right).

<insert biblical reference about pride and the fall and all that>


It is the Saturday before Easter, at about 9pm.  I was supposed to deliver the Cream Zippy Cardigan to my niece on March 25.  But it wasn't finished, and as (good or bad) luck had it, sickness kept me from Virginia that weekend.  So it was sort of ok, because I arranged to see sister and BIL and nieces for Easter, which would give me extra time to install the zipper.  I would be able to deliver Cream Zippy Cardigan in person, completed, and see the look of shock on M's face when I actually delivered a finished object.  It was going to work.  Even though I waited until the last minute (again), it was going to work.


Then it didn't.

So here's what I delivered to M yesterday:

Baby legwarmers for baby Leah (and they fit!)

Here's what I showed M yesterday:

Cream Zippy Cardigan, complete with hood, no zipper.
  

I'm not thrilled about the point in the back, but I'm hoping it will look kind of cute on Grace.  You know, Kewpie Doll cute.

I even worked in a little tab to cover the top of the zipper so it doesn't get annoying under her chin.

And I brought it back home with me yesterday.


I forgot to tell you the best part.  After the epic zipper fail, I sewed in the bottom half of the snap, over the cabling just to the right of where the zipper would be.  You probably won't believe this, even though I'm telling you but ... I managed to sew the bottom half of that snap on upside-down.


Then I cut the snap out and gave up on Cream Zippy Cardigan for the night.


Mrs. Pi